Act 2, Scene 2: False Friends

• Setting: At the edge of the dark woods, near the road to Ironforge. There is an old, partly overgrown phone booth at the edge of the forest next to the road.
• Stage setup:
• Backdrop: Road and 2x forest panels
• 2nd rail: Phone booth [4]
• Frontprops:
• Props: Stick with pigrats in a sack (o'wolf), Lighter (Tigerseye), small carriage (Nex), Bucket (Kayjay), bag of bullets (Kayjay)
• SFX:
• PreRec:

TECH PREROLL

LX 0099 - Work Light OFF (Static Playbacks)

LX 2201 - STANDBY for GO (Link LX 0002 - DBO with dim blue reading light)

Check Levels
Unmute Desk

Tani: ON
Eis: ON

Runo: OFF
Curry: OFF
Jyanon: OFF
Lynard: OFF

INTRO

door bursts open

Thistlethorn: "Okay, Bottlebrush, that's it. I am not going to wait any longer. If you don't act now, I will!"

Bottlebrush (calm): "Oh, Thistlethorn! What happened to knocking first?"

Thistlethorn: "I thought Raindancer was like a son to you. I don't understand how you can just sit there and do nothing. These are our children, for the gods' sake!"

Bottlebrush (calm): "Yes they are, and just because I'm not running around like a headless chicken doesn't mean I am doing nothing."

Thistlethorn: "You keep saying that, but where are the results? We are running out of time! Why don't we negotiate with them?"

Bottlebrush: "Because you don't negotiate with blackmailers unless you absolutely have to."

Thistlethorn: "But we only have two more days!"

Bottlebrush: "Two days can be a lot of time, Thistlethorn. I trust my men to know what they are doing. They have already tracked the kidnappers half way through the Dark Woods, and we've narrowed their possible destination down to less than a handful of cities."

Thistlethorn: "Hah! Less than a handful. What an achievement. Look, Bottlebrush, I'm not stupid. It's been raining all night. If there were any tracks, they're gone now. Your experts are STUCK, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT!"

Bottlebrush: "They are using proven, scientific methods-"

Thistlethorn: "Methods that nobody has ever tried before."

Bottlebrush: "Our ancestors aren't quite nobody, are they?"

Thistlethorn: "You have a smug answer to everything, haven't you. Professor Bottlebrush, the smartass in charge. And yet it's you and your damn Institute who got us into all this trouble in the first place. Hundreds of rebels have died to free our ancestors' thoughts and ideas from the Keepers of the Light and you have nothing better to do than locking them back up. The knowledge of an entire civilization, put behind iron doors. No wonder the Opposition thinks we're scum. The Keepers of the Light are gone, but nothing has changed."

Bottlebrush (angry): "I have a question for you, Thistlethorn. Do you know what the most defining characteristic of human civilization is?"

Thistlethorn: "Enlighten me."

Bottlebrush (angry): "It no longer exists! The very science that lead to its rise also lead to its downfall. Do YOU want history to repeat itself? If yes, go ahead and drop all that human knowledge on our society like a bomb. If not, we have to share that knowledge responsibly. That is what our schools are for. We do not only teach science, we also teach history and ethics. Those things must to go hand in hand. I promise you, that knowledge will not remain locked up. We will share it. All of it. But we will do it responsibly."

Thistlethorn: "We own the biggest arsenal of weapons in the world, and yet we let those criminals walk into our classroom with nothing but swords and a crossbows and take our kids. Is that what you call acting responsibly?"

Borlebrush: "Would you have preferred them walking into the classroom with grenades and assault rifles instead?"

Thistlethorn: "That is not what I said!"

Bottlebrush: "No? Then what do you think would happen if we opened the vaults underneath the Holy Mountain to everyone?"

Thistlethorn: "I … I mean …"

Bottlebrush: "Thistle. It just doesn't work that way. We will get our sons and daughters back. And we are going to use weapons if we have to. But it will be the last thing to try, not the first. I wouldn't want to live in a world where it is. Would you?"

Thistlethorn: "No. No, I wouldn't."

MAIN DIALOGUE

Curtain - open

LX 2202 - Lights on

AMB-2201 - Open Field

Raindancer merrily comes in from [1]

MUS-2201 - The Bass at River Kwai
PRE-2201 - Raindancer whistles the "River Kwai" march.

Potami comes in after Raindancer, carrying a stick over her shoulder with a little sack tied from a handkerchief at the end. Parts of roasted pigrats stick out.

They keep walking while they talk, until they have reached the open road on the other side of the phone booth

Potami: "Ahhh … finally we're getting out of this damn forest. I still have no idea where we are, but where there's a road, there must be destination."

Raindancer: "This must be one of the ancient roads built by humans!"

Potami: "What makes you think that?"

Raindancer: "Because it's made of concrete!"

Potami: "Well, good thing it's not made of abstract!"

Raindancer: "Very funny! Concrete is a sort of man made rock. They used it to build houses, roads, bridges … everything that needed to last centuries! Or longer! Like this road!"

Raindancer pats his foot on the road two of times

SND-2201 - Pat Pat

Potami: "You're like a walking lexi-clo-paedia!"

Raindancer (laughs): "That's encyclopedia. You're so cute when you try to talk like me!"

Potami snorts dismissively

Raindancer: "Don't you think we make a great team? I'm all theory, and you're all practice!"

Potami: "I think you mean 'I do all the heavy lifting, and you won't stop talking.' I need a break … my back is killing me."

Potami puts down her bag next to the phone booth

Raindancer: "Then come here and sit down for a moment."

Potami: "What for?"

Raindancer: "Just do it."

Potami: "Okay …"

Potami sits down in front of Raindancer.

Raindancer massages Potami's shoulders

Potami makes little happy piggy noises

Potami: "Oh … ohhhh … oh, that's good … don't stop …"

Raindancer: "See, I'm not all that useless, am I? Wow, your muscles are really tense!"

Potami: "Hrmmmgrblmmmm …"

Raindancer: "If it hurts, tell me!"

Potami: "I don't think you can hurt me–SQUEEEEEEEEEEAK!"

Raindancer pulls back his paws

Raindancer: "Ooops, sorry!"

MUS-2202 - It hurts so good
MUS-2201 STOP

Potami: "No no no! Go on … it hurts … but it hurts so gooood …"

Raindancer puts his paws on Potami's shoulders and massages them

In the background, the head of Bird2 emerges from the phone booth and steals the roasted pigrats

Raindancer: "You know what? I've never felt safer than with you around! And I usually don't trust people easily …"

Potami: "Really? But you know so much about the world! I've learned more from you than from any class ever before. And at school, you were the only one who didn't make fun of me. That means a lot to me."

Raindancer: "Well, you're lucky then. It seems we're stuck with each other for a while."

Potami: "It could be a lot worse, couldn't it?"

Raindancer: "Sure could! By the way, I'm getting hungry. I could really go for a piece of roasted pigrat. Is there still any left?"

Potami turns around to pick up the bag with the roasted pigrat parts

Potami: "Sure! There should be plenty … uhm … where the hell did my bag go?"

MUS-2203 - Where is our food
MUS-2202 STOP

Runo: ON
Curry: ON
Jyanon: ON

Raindancer: "What?"

Potami: "I could swear I put it right here … I can still smell it …"

Potami sniffs the ground, and then the phone booth.

Raindancer: "By the way, these are the remains of an old communications system that was ancient even by human standards. It was used to …"

Potami shushes Raindancer

Potami: "Shhhhhh!"

Potami puts an ear against the phone booth

SND-2202 - Munching and swallowing noises

Potami: "Aha! I think I've found the thief! HEY! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! GIVE US OUR FOOD BACK!"

(silence)

Potami bangs against the door of the phone booth SIX TIMES.

SND-2203 - Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang

Potami: "HEY THERE! OPEN UP!"

MUS-2204 - Huff and Puff
MUS-2203 STOP

A flap opens on the side of the phone booth, way above Potami's head, and Bird2 pecks on Potami's head

SND-2204 - Flap opens SND-2205 - peck peck peck

Potami: "OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!"

Bird2 disappers, the the flap closes

SND-2206 - Flap Closes

Potami: "Okay, you want trouble? You get trouble!"

Potami grabs the phone booth, and shakes it

SND-2207 - Rattling!

Potami: "I'm going to huff … and puff … and …"

SND-2208 - Flap opens 2
MUS-2205 - Funny Birbs
MUS-2204 STOP

The flap opens again and Bird2 peeks out

Bird2: "We give up! We give up! Here's your food!

A second flap opens on the right side of the phone booth,

SND-2209 - Flap opens 3

Bird3 throws out the remains of roasted pigrats in a bag.

SND-2209b - Sack Falls

Raindancer picks up the bag

Raindancer: "There's barely half of it left! You thieves!"

The third flap opens in the centre, and Bird1 peeks out.

SND-2210 - Flap opens 4

Bird1: "Have mercy! It's so hard to get by these days …"

Bird2: "Soooo hard!"

Bird3: "We've been living on nothing but grubs today."

Bird1: "And yesterday."

Bird2: "And tomorrow!"

Bird1: "Now that didn't make any sense!"

Bird2: "Of course it did!"

Bird3: "Then you brought pigrats! So tasty!"

Bird1: "Soooo tasty!"

Bird2: "Soooooooooo tasty!"

Bird3: "Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo …"

Potami: "STOP!"

All birds look at Potami

Potami: "I think we got the message. So. You're living in this … thing?"

Raindancer: "Phone booth."

Potami: "Whatever."

Bird1: "Oh yes, yes, yes."

Bird2: "Most definitely, yes."

Bird3: "Always have, always will."

Raindancer: "Then you can tell us where we are?"

Bird1: "Of course."

Bird2: "Why do you even ask?"

Bird3: "It's so obvious!"

Raindancer: "Okay then: Where are we?"

Bird1: "You're no longer where you came from!"

Bird2: "You're not yet where you are going!"

Bird3: "Right now, you are right here!"

Potami: "Are you making fun of us?"

Bird1 looks at Bird2

Bird1: "Are you?"

Bird2 looks at Bird3

Bird2: "No, are you?"

Bird3 looks at Bird1

Bird3: "No, are you?"

All birds look at Potami

Bird1: "I don't think we are!"

Potami: "Nggggroah!"

Potami grabs Bird1 by the head, pulling it down.

SND-2211 - Streeeeeetch
MUS-2206 - Stretchy Birb
MUS-2205 STOP

Potami: "Now listen to me … do you see this guy over there?"

Potami turns around a bit with the bird head still in hand, so Bird1 forcibly looks at Raindancer

Raindancer waves

Raindancer: "Hiiii!"

Potami: "That is Raindancer, and he knows how to set things on fire."

Raindancer flashes his lighter, making it light up

SND-2212 - Lighter

Bird2 and Bird3 squawk excitedly

Potami: "This includes that funny chicken shed of yours."

Raindancer: "Phone booth."

Potami: "So if you want to see the light of another day, you'd better stop playing games with me, do you hear me, Mr. Rubber Chicken?"

Bird1 (through teeth): "I'm not a rubber chicken."

Potami lets its head go, which flicks back into its hold like an overstretched rubber band

MUS-2207 - Snappy Birb
MUS-2206 STOP
SND-2213 - SPROING + falling bowling pins

Bird1 squawks

Raindancer: "I'd love to find out if they taste like one!"

Bird3: "All right, all right, you win."

Bird2: "We lose!"

Bird1 (off): "My neck pain! It's gone!"

Potami: "One last time: WHERE ARE WE!"

SND centre flap opens

Bird1: "You are on the road to Ironforge!"

Bird2: "The glorious capital of the Iron Lands!"

Bird3: "The city of milk and pancakes!"

Potami: "Ironforge! That makes a lot of sense! The idiot on the carriage … he mentioned Lady Goldeneyes."

Bird1: "Oh, the wonderful Lady Goldeneyes!"

Bird2: "Princess of Ironforge!"

Bird3: "Her eyes are so golden!"

Raindancer: "So that's where they've been trying to take us!"

Potami: "And that must be where the other students are!"

Raindancer: "We must go immediately back to Ferndale, and tell everybody!"

Potami: "No! We must go to Ironforge and save the students!"

Raindancer: "And how are we supposed to do that, with no weapons, no backup, no nothing?"

Bird1: "Nonono, you definitely should not go to Ironforge!"

Bird2: "Everyone wants the Lady's throne! It's not safe!"

Bird3: "She won't last long, that's for sure!"

Potami: "And how do you think we should go back to Ferndale? On foot? That will take at least a week! And it's still pretty dangerous!"

Bird1: "Oh, yes, the woods are where the snapjaw lives!"

Bird2: "Nasty snappy bitey creatures!"

Bird3: "But the pigrats are soooo tasty!"

MUS-2208 - Make up your minds!
MUS-2207 STOP

Raindancer: "Birds? Can you please make up your mind? You're not helping!"

Bird1: "Yes!"

Bird2: "No!"

Bird3: "Maybe?"

Potami: "Rainy, hand me the lighter."

Bird1: (towards [1]) "Look! Someone is coming up the road!"

Bird2: "Stranger danger!"

Bird3: "We must hide! Must hide!"

The birds hide inside, slamming shut the tiny doors.

SND-2213b - Slam Tiny Doors

Raindancer: "Shouldn't we hide, too?"

SND-2214 - Horse Cart

Lynard: ON
Runo: OFF
Curry: OFF
Jyanon: OFF

Potami: "Too late. We need to disguise. Just play along!"

Potami embraces Raindancer and kisses him deeply.

Raindancer (flails): "Hmmrmmrmmr!"

Whisperwind comes from [1], riding a small carriage with one horse. He is disguised with a long cape with a hood covering up his face. He talks with a fake old man's voice

Whisperwind stops the wagon

SND-2214b - End Horse Cart
SND-2214 STOP

Whisperwind: "Ohhh … looky there, isn't there a more beautiful sight than the flowering of new love in the time of spring!"

Potami lets go of Raindancer

Raindancer gasps for air

Raindancer: "*cough* That was more of a deflowering …"

Potami: "Oh, hello there. I'm so sorry, we really didn't expect anyone to come by so suddenly …"

Whisperwind (laughs): "Oh, don't mind me, I'm just a dirty old man, dreaming of times long ago. My name is Amberleaves, and Ironforge is my humble home. I've not seen you two around here before."

Potami: "My name is uhm … Daisypuff, and this is my fiance… er?… Talksalot."

Whisperwind: "I am pleased to make your acquaintance!"

Potami: "Likewise!"

Raindancer (to Potami): "I hate you."

MUS-2209 - Make up your minds!
MUS-2208 STOP

Potami: "Well, isn't this a strange coincidence? We were just taking a break on our way to Ironforge. Do you think you could give us a ride?"

Whisperwind: "Of course I can! Is this your first time to Ironforge? And right on time for the big celebration!"

Potami: "Oh really?"

Whisperwind: "Yes! Lady Goldeneyes is going to get married! After so many years, Ironforge is finally going to have a proper royal couple again! The entire town is throwing one big party! You should definitely go and see it!"

Potami: "Oh, of course! I love weddings!"

Raindancer turns to Potami, taking her aside a little

Whisperwind gets off the carriage, bringing a bucket. He approaches Raindancer, standing behind his back.

Raindancer (in a low voice): "But when we arrive at Ironforge, the first thing we do is to look for help, okay? Uncle Brushie used to have some good friends in Ironforge. One of them is Longleaf, a very nice fellow. As far as I know he runs a bakery there. We will find him, and then let the Institute handle everything from there. Then we can join the celebration. Alright?"

Potami: "Awwww. Okay."

Whisperwind: "Before we go, I have one humble request. My horse is thirsty, and there is a little stream nearby. Daisypuff, could you help me getting some water? It's just a short walk. And Talksalot, maybe you could stay here, and keep an eye on the horse?"

Potami: "Sure!"

Raindancer: "No problem!"

Potami and Whisperwind walk across the stage to the very edge.

Horse whinnies and snorts

SND-2215 Whinny! Snort!

Raindancer: "Easy, easy. He is going to be back soon."

Whisperwind takes his hood off

MUS-2210 - The conspiracy!
MUS-2209 STOP

Whisperwind (in his real voice): "I know who you are, Potami."

Potami gasps in shock!

Whisperwind: "Shhhhh! Don't worry, I'm your friend. It seems we both have a common enemy, and I am going to make you an offer that you will appreciate, I'm sure. It's right here in this bag. Let's talk about it while we walk. And no word to the other guy, okay? This will be our little secret …"

Whisperwind takes Potami by the shoulder, and walks her off the stage.

LX 2299 - Lights fade

AMB-2201 FADE

Curtain - close

Fade Ambience
Mute all but Video

LX 0099 - Work Light ON (Static Playbacks)