Act 2, Scene 2: Restroom Stop


%LIG% LX 0099 - Work Light OFF (Static Playbacks)

%LIG% LX 2201 - STANDBY for GO: DBO with dim blue reading light (link to LX 0002)

%MIX% Check Levels
%MIX% Prepare "Dainpipe Reverb" on Eisfuchs and SFX
%MIX% Unmute Desk

%MIX% Pan: ON
%MIX% Eisfuchs: ON
%MIX% Tani: ON

%MIX% Curry: OFF
%MIX% Telepathic FX: OFF


%SND% door opens

Eva: "Mr. French!"

Abraham: "Mrs. Harrington!"

Eva: "I've been waiting for you! Come in!"

%SND% door closes

%SND% footsteps

Eva: "And? Did you get a call from Florence?"

Abraham: "I'm afraid not."

Eva: "*SIGH* I thought this was just one of her escapades - but she's been gone for a whole day now! I wish there was anything I could do, but I can't leave the shop during the day. Especially not when I'm a woman short."

Abraham: "And you don't have to. I called a few friends, and did some research."

Eva: "And what did you find out?"

Abraham: "I've got good news and bad news."

Eva: "And I've got a short temper and a rolling pin, if you give me another cliché like that."

Abraham: "Alright, alright. The airship has not returned to Port Ospen, and there's a rumor Mr. Welsh himself is keeping the airship in a holding pattern off shore to keep himself safe from further attacks."

Eva (upset): "You mean Florence is stuck on the ship with Mr. Welsh? Please let that be the bad news!"

Abraham: "That was the good news, because it explains why she is still missing. But the ship has a radio. It would have been a simple thing to send a message."

Eva: "Have you tried calling H&W Headquarters?"

Abraham: "Of course. They referred me to their official statement, and refused any further help."

Eva: "So what is their official statement?"

Abraham: "Please don't grab the rolling pin, but… Here come the bad news. I checked with a friend at ANR, and the official statement is that there is an ongoing investigation against a group of vanosian terrorists, and that a suspect is being held in custody on board the airship."

Eva: "And you think they might mean Florence? But she would never do anything like that!"

Abraham: "I'm convinved she only wanted to help. But she hates Welsh. So he has every reason to doubt her good intentions."

Eva (desperate): "Welsh! Schemers like him always think everybody's as treacherous as they are."

Abraham: "Mr. Welsh? You know him?"

Eva: "I wish I didn't."

Abraham: "That's right, he bought your husband's company, didn't he?"

Eva: "I'd rather not talk about it. I just really, REALLY don't want Florence anywhere near him. Or on any of his planes."

Abraham: "I'm sorry Mrs. Harrington, I didn't mean to pry."

Eva: "Don't worry. It's good to know you care. Could you do me a favor?"

Abraham: "Of course!"

Eva: "Please call me Eva. And may I call you Abraham?"

Abraham: "Abe. My friends call me Abe."

Eva: "I'm so touched by all the support you’re giving me, Abe. And since I've had little to do but worry, I made you a little thank you gift."

%SND% rustling paper

Abraham: "Awwww! Caramel Chocolates! Thank you Eva! How did you know these were my favorites?"

Eva: "I have my sources, too!"

Abraham: "Now it would be a crying shame to go back home and eat these all by myself."

Eva: "Oh?"

Abraham: "Yes, I might gain a tremendous amount of weight! And besides, if Florence *does* call, you should be there to talk to her."

Eva: "That does make sense. But I still have to do the cash check and tidy up the place."

Abraham: "I can help you with the cleaning if you want. After the incident at the airfield my shop was practically deserted."

Eva: "You're too kind."

Abraham: "Anything for a lovely lady!"

Eva (laughs): "Well then … come this way. If you're as handy with a mop as you are with a wrench, we should be done in no time!"


%HND% Curtain - open

%ATT% Ortha is carrying Cal, who she rescued from the sea, dropping him off next to Florence. Which we can't see.

%AMB% AMB-0601 - Outdoors at Night

%SND% SND-0601 - Flapping wings

%MUS% MUS-0601 - Cue 1

Florence (off): "Ortha! Over here!"

%ACT% Happy Ortha noise

Cal (off): "*whimper*"

%SND% SND-0601 (cont.) - Flapping wings coming, closer, Ortha landing

%SND% SND-0601 (cont.) - Splashrömpel

Cal (off): "Argh! ugh …"

Florence (off): "Cal! You made it! Are you alright?"

Cal (off, shaking, through his teeth): "I thought I was freezing to death!"

%SND% SND-Cal shakes

%MIX% Telepathic FX: ON

Cal (off): "Where the hell are we?"

Florence (off): "I can barely see the lighthouse in the north."

Cal (off): "Oh great. I hope Vanos is as safe as they say these days."

Ortha (off): "There seems to be a small farm nearby. Maybe they'll let you stay over night!"

Florence (off): "And there's still light in the house! Let's go!"

%SND% SND-0602 - Footsteps

Cal (off): "No! We're fugitives! What if they report us? We're going to hide in the barn and be off before sunrise! They'll never know we were here."

%SND% SND-0603 - Door rattles


%MUS% MUS-0602 - Cue 2

Cal: "Damn, it's locked. That means we have to break in!"

Florence: "But that's illegal!"

Cal: "The fact we're still breathing is illegal. Look over there! That drain pipe will be our way in."

Florence: "That's just stupid. I'll walk over and knock-"

%MUS% MUS-0603 - Cue 3 (right here)

Cal: "No! You're going to wait right here! *mutters* Bloody women …"

%MIX% Pan: OFF

%MIX% Tani: OFF

%MIX% Telepathic FX: OFF

%MIX% Reverb: Fade in on SND-0604

%SND% SND-0604 - Splash Into Water

%AMB% AMB-0602 - Drainpipe


Cal: "*groans*"

%ACT% Cal appears inside the pipe at [1]. He lies on his back, so the whole puppet is visible. He draws himself forward with his arms. He slowly creeps from [1] towards the other side.

Cal (mutters): "If you want something done, you've got to do it yourself. I'm already wet to the bones, how could it possibly get any worse?"

%MUS% MUS-0604 - Cue 4

%SND% SND-0605 - Toilet Flushing

Cal: "Uh oh."

%SND% SND-0605 (cónt.) - Water Coming Nearer

%HND% Empty bucket of disgustingly colored confetti over Cal's head

%SND% SND-0605 (cónt.) - SPLORGH!

%ACT% Cal coughs and spits

Cal: "Ew! Gross! But is it going to stop Caligula, the Savior? No! It will only make him stronger!"

%ACT% Cal moves on

%SND% SND-0606 - Slimey Slime

%MUS% MUS-0605 - Cue 5

%HND% Disgusting tentacles appear from below, latching onto Cal

Cal: "Blergh! What the fuck … hey! Oh no …"

%HND% Facehugger appears, creeping towards Cal

Cal: "Oh no … nonononono … noooo!"

%HND% Facehugger latches onto Cal's face.

%SND% SND-0607 - Facehugger

%ACT% Cal struggles

Cal: "Hmmmm! hrblblblbl! Grlmmmm!"

%ATT% Let cal struggle for a few seconds before the rats come in!

%SND% SND-SND-0608 - Rats Squeaking

%HND% Several rats-on-a-stick come in

%HND% The rats surround Cal

%HND% The rats attack the tentacles!

%SND% SND-0609 - Rats Gnawing

%HND% The tentacles slowly disappear, so do the rats with them.


%HND% Finally, a few rats take the Facehugger off




%MUS% MUS-0606 - Cue 6

Cal: "*GASP*"

%HND% The rats carry the facehugger away. Only one rat remains.

%ACT% Cal gasps and catches his breath

Cal: "Phew! Weird. I enjoyed that more than I should have!"

Cal (to the rat): "Thank you for helping me out little one! Friends?"

%ACT% The rat sinks its teeth into Cal's nose

%SND% SND-0611 - Crunch!

%MUS% MUS-0607 - Cue 7

Cal: "AAAAAH!"

%ACT% Cal tries to get the rat off his nose

%ACT% Cal bites the rat to death. Then spits it out.

%SND% SND-0612 - Rat Dies

Cal: "SPUT!"

%HND% Rat flies off towards [7]

Cal: "So much for being nice to someone for a change. Tsss."

%ACT% Cal creeps on towards [7]

Cal: "Damn! This looked so much easier in the comic! But turning back is not an option. Caligula the Savior is not going to make himself the laughing stock of the party! Forward ever, backwards nevAAAAAAAAARGH!"

%MUS% MUS-0608 - Cue 8

%ACT% Cal falls down, disappearing from view.

%SND% SND-0614 - SPLASH!

%AMB% AMB-0603 - Inside the barn


Cal (off): "SHIT!"

%MIX% Reverb: OFF on SFX

%MIX% Eisfuchs: Vol 50%

%MIX% Curry: ON

%MIX% Pan: ON

%MIX% Tani: ON

%HND% Make sewer pipe set magically disappear. (this is basically a scene switch)

%SND% SND-0615 - Door Opens

%MUS% MUS-0609 - Cue 9

%LIG% LX 2201 - Main lights on

%ACT% Will comes in from [7], followed by Florence and Ortha

Will: "Welcome to my humble barn. I wish I could offer you something better."

%ACT% Ortha keeps walking until she reaches a free spot at around [2], sitting down, facing towards [7]

Florence: "All we need is a roof above our heads. Thank you so much, Will!"

Will: "We value our hospitality here in Vanos. Can I invite you for breakfast tomorrow? It's not often a plane crashes in my backyard!"

Florence: "Of course!"

Will: "Now where is that friend of yours?"

Florence: "Uhm … good question. When we left, he was just checking out the drain pipe."

Will: "Drain pipe? But my barn doesn't have a drain!"

Cal (off, muffled): "Help! Heeeelp me!"

Will: "Is that him?"

%MUS% MUS-0610 - Cue 10

Florence: "I'm afraid so. Cal? CAL!? Where are you?"

Cal (off): "I'm down here!"

Will: "That came from outside …"

%ACT% Will turns around, and walks outside to [7]

Cal (off): "What the hell are you waiting for?"

%ACT% Will opens the door of the outhouse, and enters, looking down the hole

%SND% SND-0616 - Door Opens

Will: "I'll be damned … What the hell are you doing down there?"

Cal (off): "Stop asking stupid questions and get me out!"

Will: "Okay, hang tight!"


%ACT% Will closes the door of the outhouse behind him

%SND% SND-0617 - PoempelPoempelPoempelPoempel

%MUS% MUS-0611 - Cue 11

%ACT% Cal groans (off)

%SND% SND-0617 (cont.) - Suction

Cal (off): "Yiiiiikes!"

%SND% SND-0617 (cont.) - PLOPP!

%MIX% Reverb: OFF

%MIX% Eisfuchs: Vol 100%

%ACT% The outhouse door flies open

%ACT% Cal and Will are propelled outside the door to [6]

%SND% SND-0618 - Flatsch!

%ACT% Cal and Will stand up

Will: "Awrite! Who are you, and what are you doing in my toilet?"

Cal: "Name's Cal. Royal pipe inspection service. Did you know you have a serious tentacle problem down there?"

%ACT% Florence squeezes in between Cal and Will, and shoves Cal inside until he's next to Ortha

Florence: "Very funny Cal, very funny! But now it's time to GO INSIDE AND TAKE A NAP!"

%ACT% Cal sighs, and sits next to Ortha

%ACT% Ortha sniffs at Cal, then recoils and coughs

Will: "I think Mr. Pipe Inspector needs a bath. I'll go and get you a tub!"

%ACT% Will turns around and starts to leave to [7]

Florence: "Only if it's not too much trouble!"

Will: "Ah, it's awrite! I'll be back in a minute."

%ACT% Will closes the door of the ourhouse and leaves to [7]

%MIX% Curry: OFF

%ACT% Florence turns around and flails her arms

Florence (angry): "That was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me!"

Cal: "But I … I …"

Florence (angry): "No buts! You almost ruined it! When will you stop throwing your goddamn weight around? Who are you trying to impress? Me?"

Cal: "I … I …"

Florence: "You smell like a maggot infested carcass of a raccoon rotting at the bottom of a rain barrel!"

Cal: "But …"

Florence: "FOR TWO WEEKS!"

Cal: "I mean …"

Florence: "IN THE SUN!"

Cal: "Really, I just …"

Florence: "WITH THE LID ON!"

Cal: "Listen to me …"

Florence: "No! How about you just shut up for once? Think you can do that?"

%ACT% Cal just stares, and sighs

Florence: "Good!"

%MIX% Telepathic FX: ON

%MUS% MUS-0612 - Cue 12

%ACT% Florence sighs, closes her eyes, and intuitively cuddles herself against Ortha, who looks at her questioningly over her shoulder.

Ortha: "Don't be so mad at him. He was just trying to help."

Florence: "You find this pretty funny, don't you?"

Ortha: "Actually … yes! Pipe inspector … *laughs internally*"

Florence: "Are you picking my mind again?"

Ortha: "No, you're just still thinking very loudly!"

%MIX% Curry: ON

%SND% SND-0620 - Squeaky Wheels

%ACT% Will comes in from [7], pushing a wooden bath tub along in front of him. It contains a bath brush with a long handle, and a towel.

Will: "A fresh bath for the deep diver!"

Florence: "Perfect. Thank you."


Will: "You're welcome! Time for me to hit the sheets. See you in the morning!"

%ACT% Will leaves to [7]

%MIX% Curry: OFF

Florence: "Good night, Will!"

%MUS% MUS-0613 - Cue 13

Cal (timid): "Thanks Will."

%ACT% Cal starts undressing, gets into the tub, and begins scrubbing himself. (WHILE DIALOGUE CONTINUES)

%HND% Blow soap bubbles (WHEN APPLICABLE)

%SND% SND-0622 - Splish Splash

%ACT% Florence sits down, using Ortha as a backrest.

Ortha: "You know what's funny? You two-leggers have fur, but you're still wearing clothes. Why's that?"

Florence: "Oh, there's more than one reason. They protect us, they look nice, and … they keep things hidden."

Ortha: "What kind of things?"

Florence: "Uhm … male and female things."

Ortha: "Oooooh! Seeing him naked arouses you!"

Florence: "ORTHA! Those are my most private feelings!"

Ortha: "Oh, the images … so that's how you two-legged people …"

Florence: "ORTHAAAAAA!"

%ACT% Florence taps Ortha's side with a paw!

Ortha: "*laughs* Why are you so ashamed about everything! I mean, how about you? Aren't you curious how it feels when WE do it?"

Florence: "NO!"

Ortha: "What a shame. It's really good! *laughs*"

Florence: "You just don't want me to sleep tonight, do you?"

Cal: "Are you two talking about me again?"

Florence: "Of course. The whole world revolves around you, after all."

Cal: "Oh for fucks sake! Yes, I screwed up. There, I admitted it, is that what you wanted to hear?"

Florence: "It's a start."

Cal: "Fine. Anything else?"

Ortha: "See, he's not so bad! Let's see if you can get him to open up to us a little more."

Florence: "You would make a great psychotherapist!"

Ortha: "Well, I am, in a way."

%MUS% MUS-0614 - Cue 14 (cal?)

Florence: "Cal? After you let Ortha free … why did you come to rescue me?"

Cal: "You were my only chance to get off the ship alive."

Ortha: "I don't think that was the reason. Something seemed to cause him grief. I even saw him crying. I had to push him a little bit in the right direction."

Florence: "Cal, be honest with me."

Cal: "But I am … wait. Damn. Ortha … she told you everything, right? Oh yeah, just keep kicking me while I'm down, I'm well used to that! Uhm … Does she … know what I'm saying?"

Florence: "She understands everything I understand - as long as we're touching."

Cal: "Fucking Brilliant! Here I am, naked, smelling like shit, and there are you, with your living lie detector, judging me smug as fuck. So much for your moral superiority!"

Florence: "I'm sorry! It comes naturally, I didn't think anything of it!"

%ACT% Cal stands up, tying the towel around his waist

%SND% SND-0623 - Leave Bathtub


%MUS% MUS-0615 - Cue 15 (right)

Cal: "But you're right. I didn't save you to save myself. I did it because I owed it to you. Both of you. I had to make right what I did wrong!"

%ACT% Cal turns towards Ortha.

Cal: "I love you, Ortha! You are the most magnificent being I have ever seen. When the bombs exploded, I was more scared for your life than for my own! I feel so guilty for not realizing you are a person! I didn't have the right to keep you in a cage! I spent so much time with you, but I was too blind to see what you really are. I'm so sorry, Ortha. I hope you can forgive me."

Ortha: "So that's what he tried to tell me back in the cargo hold! If I only had known! Poor Cal!"

%ACT% Ortha lowers her head, and touches Cal with her nose.

%ACT% Cal hugs Ortha's head.

Cal: "There goes my last shred of dignity."

Florence (touched): "Actually, that was the most dignified thing I've ever heard you say. And of course Ortha forgives you. You were very brave!"

Cal (Sobs): "Thank you. You too."

%ACT% Florence stares at the ground for a moment. Then she turns towards Cal, right hand on Ortha's neck, reaching out with the other hand towards Cal.

Florence: "I'm sorry for being so mean to you, I …"

%ACT% Florence hugs cal

%LIG% LX 2211 - Ortha telepathic

%ATT% Time stops!

%MUS% MUS-0616 - Cue 16

%SND% SND-0624 - Telepathic Shock

%ATT% Time continues!

%LIG% LX 2220 - All lights back to normal

%ACT% Cal jumps back

%ACT% Florence jumps back

Cal & Florence: "GAH!!!!"

%ACT% Ortha jumps to her feet, and shakes her head

Cal: "What the hell was that? What did I do?"

%ACT% Florence turns around and gets hold of Ortha.

Ortha: "Oh no, not again!"

Florence: "Cal … I saw your thoughts! Your feelings! Everything!"

%MUS% MUS-0617 - Cue 17

Cal: "WHAT?"

Florence: "And … you thought about my father! Why did you think about my father?"

Cal: "You … saw that?"

Florence: "Cal … WHY?"

Ortha: "It's quite unpleasant to be overwhelmed with someone else's thoughts, but it gets better as soon as your mind begins to take it all in. It felt the same way it did when you touched me for the first time."

Florence: "But how can this be! Cal has touched you countless times and there never was a connection!"

Cal: "A connection? Is that how it feels?"

Ortha: "I think it's you, Florence."

Florence: "You mean … if I touch you … and someone touches me … "

Cal: "Let's do it again!"

Florence: "No!"

Ortha: "Talking to me has always been one of his greatest desires. I think we should let him."

Florence: "No! It felt like a steam train running right through my head!"

Ortha: "His mind is a mess right now. If he could somehow manage to calm himself down, it won't nearly be so bad."

Cal: "Pretty pretty please?"

%MUS% MUS-0618 - Cue 18 (you must know)

Florence: "*sigh* All right. But there's something you must know. Unlike her, we have not learned to keep our thoughts to ourselves. You might tell us your darkest secrets, your most intimate desires, things you never wanted anybody to know. Are you ready to pay the price?"

Cal: "I've never been so ready."

Florence: "All right. Close your eyes. Clear your thoughts. Relax."

%ACT% Cal closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Florence: "Now take my hand."

%ACT% Cal takes her hand


%LIG% LX 2221 - Ortha telepathic

Ortha: "Hello, Caligula, my savior!"

Cal: "Hello Ortha. I love you."

Ortha: "I know. I can feel it."

Cal: "And I have to tell you something, Florence. The death of your father was no accident. Welsh had him murdered."


%LIG% LX 2299 - Lights out

%MIX% Fade Ambience, SFX and Music with LX 2299

%HND% Curtain - close

%MIX% Mute all but Video

%LIG% LX 0099 - Work Light ON (Static Playbacks)