Act 2, Scene 2: Up Shit Creek Without a Paddle


%ATT% The Legend of Kauhuhu, the Shark God

%SND% Narrator: "Long ago on the island of Molokai lived Kupa, the high chief, and Kamalo, one of his priests. Kamalo had two sons, who had great courage and accomplished great feats of daring. Inside his house, Chief Kupa kept two magnificent tiki drums, which he used to talk to his priests over great distances. One day, when Kupa was away on a fishing trip, Kamalo's sons entered the chief's home to have a look the drums they had heard so much about, and although their father had taught them the ways of the temple and that things sacred to the gods must not be touched, the boys began to beat the drums."

%SND% Narrator: "The chief became furious when he heard about the sacrilege. In a fit of rage, he killed the boys and presented their bodies at the altar in sacrifice. When Kamalo learned what Kupa had done, he swore revenge. No match for Kupa on his own, he consulted with the prophets and seers of all deities throughout Molokai, but everyone was fearful of the high priest and refused to help."

%SND% Narrator: "Eventually, Kamalo came to the cliffs that overlook Kalawao and Kalaupapa. On the side of the cliff Kauhuhu, the shark god, lived in a cave protected by two ancient Hawaiian dragons. Everybody knew that Kauhuhu arrives to his cave by riding the eighth wave in a set of giant waves, devouring any man who saw him, and his dragons would kill anyone who entered his cave."

%SND% Narrator: "But Kamalo was desperate, so he climbed down the cliff, and hid behind a pile of driftwood near the cave, counting the waves crashing against the cliffs. The waves climbed higher and higher until the eighth one rose up and suddenly, the shark god emerged from the deep! Kamalo sat silent, but Kauhuhu smelled him and immediately leapt upon him, jaws open to reveal sharp, shiny teeth. Kamalo cried "Have mercy! I must avenge the death of my sons, and the prophets of all the other gods have turned me away! Please help me!". And much to his surprise, Kauhuhu, his final hope, was overcome with pity end let him go."

%SND% Narrator: "The shark god instructed Kamalo to return to his village, prepare a sanctuary surrounded by sacred white tapa kapu staffs, and wait for a giant cloud floating against the wind over from the Lanai island. From it a rainbow would appear and Kamalo would know the shark god had arrived. Kamalo returned to his home, placed the kapu staffs in a large ring on the cliff, and called all those close to him together to live within the enclosure. Then he waited with his eyes toward Lanai."

%SND% Narrator: "Months passed until the cloud appeared, it traveled against the wind and came to rest above the mountains that loomed over the Mapulehu Valley. A rainbow appeared and the winds began to pick up force. Towering dark Storm clouds soon blew in and a great storm began to rage. Lightning broke the sky and water rushed down the mountains into the valley in a flash flood with such force everything before it was swept up into it. The only area that was not devastated was the sanctuary where Kamalo and his followers watched in awe."

%SND% Narrator: "Kupa, his home and all of his followers and were washed into the sea where Kauhuhu's sharks waited for them. The bay waters were soon stained red with the blood of Kupa and his followers. After this day the bay was known as Aikanaka, "the man-eater', and everyone learned a great respect for the power of the Shark God, Kauhuhu."


%AMB% amb-0601 - Sea (Good Weather)

%HND% Curtain - open

%LIG% Lights on (Daylight)

%SND% snd-0601 - Divers Emerging

%ACT% Makani and Savannah emerge at [4] next to the piece of debris (P.O.D.)

Makani (panting): "Thank god, they're gone. Whoever they were. How are you doing, Savannah?"

Savannah (shivering): "I'm cold."

Makani: "It's probably shock. We need to get you to a hospital. Here, try to climb on this."

%ACT% Makani pulls the P.O.D. closer

%ACT% Savannah tries to pull herself up onto the P.O.D.

%SND% snd-0602 - Splashing 1

Savannah: "*groan* Ah shit …"

Makani: "Careful with that arm."

Savannah (through her teeth): "Shut up! I know!"

%ACT% Makani also climbs up the P.O.D.

%SND% snd-0603 - Splashing 2

Makani (crushed): "My poor boat. I had just finished paying off the loan. Now look at it. It's ruined. The insurance won't cover this!"

Savannah: "How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen, Makani? You can always get another - what about my arm?!"

Makani: "I can't just ge– you're right. I'm sorry. But we still need to figure out what happened. Please, Savannah, tell me everything you know."

Savannah: "I already did. On the Kilo Moana we made botanical maps of the sea floor, this place was left out and I was wondering why. That's all."

Makani: "And how do you explain … this?"

%ACT% Makani points to her injured arm

Makani: "Are you absolutely sure there's nothing else you need to tell me?"

Savannah: "Well yeah, I admit Professor Bailey wasn't exactly happy when I accessed my supervisor's PC without his permission, but …"

Makani (upset): "You did what? Hell, and didn't it occur to you that this data might have been classified? Or that he might have had a good reason to avoid this area?"

Savannah (defiant): "Bullshit, nothing was classified. I just put together all the data we had just collected, and Bailey's always cranky like that, I didn't think anything of it."

Makani: "Look at the mess you've gotten us into: I'm ruined! You're hurt! We could have died!"

Savannah (starts crying): "I'm sorry … I didn't mean to … I just wanted … I mean …"

%ACT% Savannah sobs

Makani (still upset): "I can't believe I let myself be talked into something like this."

Savannah (looks up at him): "I didn't talk you into anything! You drove me out here 'cause you thought you could score with me!"

Makani (startled): "No, I … I … "

%ACT% Makani sighs as realisation hits.

Makani: "No, Savannah, if that's how it seemed to you, then you don't get me. It's not like that. That would be ridiculous. I … I really like you. All of you. You're not like those … those … zombies that come to my store every day, who care about nothing except their tan or impressing their idiot colleagues on facebook. You're full of life, and joy, and things matter to you. You fascinate me."

%ACT% Savannah acts embarrassed. There is a moment of silence.

Savannah (timid): "Thank you for saving me."

Makani: "Life is precious, and especially a life as beautiful as you."

Savannah: "Now you're beginning to sound corny."

Makani: "And does that make you feel uncomfortable?"

Savannah (looks away): "I think I'd like to talk about something else …"

Makani: "Why?"

Savannah: "Let's just say - I'm not exactly a people person. Most of my friends are online friends."

Makani (laughs): "I saw the way you were at bar a few days ago, so I don't believe that for a second."

Savannah: "But you don't know me, or my life story."

Makani: "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to cause bother. How's your arm doing?"

%SND% snd-0604 - storm stage 1 (distant thunder)

Savannah: "It hurts. A lot."

Makani: "That's the saltwater, it'll make it sting like a bitch. Let me see."

%ACT% Makani looks at her arm

Makani: "You're lucky it's just a graze …"

Savannah: "Do you have any idea how we are going to get back to the shore?"

%LIG% Transition to Thunderstorm started

Makani: "Let's see. We're about 10 miles from the beach, it's getting dark, and nobody's gonna miss us before the morning. I'm afraid we could be here for a while."

%ACT% Savannah starts crying again

%ACT% Makani reaches out with a paw … but hesitates. Then withdraws, just looking at Savannah, not sure what to do.

%SND% snd-0604 stop
%SND% snd-0605 - Storm Stage 2 (thunder)

%ACT% Makani looks up

Makani: "Oh perfect. This is going to be a rough night."

Savannah (crying): "Makani, I'm so cold. I can barely feel my paws."

%ACT% Makani sighs deeply

Makani: "I know you like to keep your distance, and everything … but … oh why are women so complicated."

Savannah: "You're not helping."

%ACT% Makani spreads his wings

Makani: "If you want my help, you'll have to come over here. Don't worry, I don't bite."

%ACT% Savannah gets up and cuddles up to Makani.

%ACT% Makani wraps his wings around Savannah

%ACT% Makani sings the song "Right next to you"

%MUS% mus-0601 - Cue 1 (right next to you)

%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "If you feel cold and lonely"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "I'll be right next to you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "In need of love and help"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "I'll be right next to you"

%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "If you close your eyes at night"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "You'll never see the stars"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Take my hand and I'll protect you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "And kiss away the scars"

%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "But I can only help you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "If you let me into your heart"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "My arms are open for you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "You need to make that step towards me"

%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "I'll be right next to you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "A new day will come"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "I'll be right next to you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "I want to make you smile again"

%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "I'll be right next to you"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Let me be the one"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Trust me, (and) don't lose hope"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Behind a"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Rainy day's horizon"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Shines the"
%MUS% mus-0601 (cont.) - Makani: "Sun"

Makani: "There, feeling better now?"

%MUS% mus-0602 - Cue 2 (the wind)

Savannah: "Much better. Thank you, Makani. And I'm sorry about your boat. I promise I'll find a way to pay you back."

Makani: "When we're back ashore, let's talk to the police, maybe they'll be able to make sense of this mess."

%LIG% Transition completed

%SND% snd-0605 stop
%SND% snd-0606 - Storm Stage 3 (rain, thunder, and wind)

%LIG% Flashes of lightning on soundque

%ACT% Savannah looks up

Savannah: "Damn. Seems like this is turning into a full fledged storm."

%ACT% Makani looks up and around, ears perking, eyes wide

Makani (excited, happy): "Yes! The wind is picking up!"

Savannah: "And why is that a good thing?"

Makani: "Because it means we'll be home soon."

Savannah: "What? How?"

Makani: "Hang on to the board. You'll see."

%ACT% Makani stands up on the P.O.D., walks to the front towards [1], and spread his wings.

%SND% snd-0607 - Sailboat
%MUS% mus-0602 - Cue 3 (King of the world)

%ACT% The wind catches Makani's wings, and the P.O.D. slowly starts moving towards [1]

Makani (shouts): "I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!"

%ACT% Savannah facepaws. Somehow.

%HND% The P.O.D. moves out of the scene to [1]

%LIG% Lights out

%SND% snd-0606 STOP
%SND% amb-0601 STOP

%HND% Curtain - close