- Stage: The Bedrooms
- Setting:Split scene, two beds, a wall between them
- Section:Lori and Poke in section A, Lionel and Mika in section B
- Puppets: Lori, Poke, Mika, Lionel
- Props: Letter, Torch
AMB-06 - Night Ambience (Owls, Bats, distant wind)
Light on Section A (Section B remains dark)
SFX-0601 - Door opens.
Lori and Poke come limping in from Section A, groaning and panting, looking seriously exhausted
Lori (exhausted): "Ooooh! What a day! One hundred and
twenty-five rooms and not a single clue! Oh, Poke, I can barely feel my
Poke: "Yeah, this place is fucking huge! Ah, shit! I've got a blister on my paw!"
Lori: "Aww! Poor ferret! Let me have a look."
Lori moves towards Poke
Poke: "Hey, nothing to worry about. It's just a blister. Look here!"
SFX-0602 - splurt!
Poke: "Don't worry, it will wash off. And it's all natural!"
Lori shakes herself and takes a step back
Lori: "Poke, you're gross!"
Poke: "No pain, no gain! It's the price of hard work!"
Lori: "What bugs me is ... where was Lionel when we needed him? It's just not fair that we are the ones getting blisters on our paws while ... while ...
Poke: "... Lionel is with Mika, and the worst thing they might get is rug burns? Is it that?"
Lori: "Maybe it ... hmmm ... oh forget it. Maybe we should just sleep it over."
Lori gets into bed.
Poke: "Good night, Poke."
Poke yawns loudly, and hops into bed.
Poke: "Good night, Lori."
SFX-0603 - click (off)
Light out in Section A
Two seconds pause
Lori (annoyed): "*sigh* What is it, Poke?"
Poke: "I'm thirsty! Does this place has room service?"
SFX-0604 - click (on)
Light on in Section A
Lori (still annoyed): "*sighs* In the commercial they
said 'personal butler service included'. So, yes, just pick up the phone
and order whatever we want."
Poke: "Yay, cool!"
Poke gets out of bed, and walks to the phone, and picks up the receiver.
Poke: "Okay ... now what do I have to dial? Just zero? Or ... OHHH!!!"
Poke (zombie like): "Reeeeed Buttooooon!!!"
Lori: "Uh oh! No, Poke! Just dial Zero! Don't push ..."
Poke: "Reeeeed butttooon! Must ... press .... "
Lori: "Nononono! Poke! Listen to me! You must fight it! Don't give in! Fight! Fight!"
Poke: "Buuut it's reeeeeed! Must presss reeeeed buttooon"
Lori: "NO POKE! WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR ... WHAT IF IT'S SOME KIND OF ..."
Poke punches the red button
SFX-0605 - Gazillions of Phones Ringing all over the place
Lori, Poke: "Aaaaaaaah!"
SFX-0606 - Distant Mumbling Crowd and steps, coming nearer
Many different puppets appear from nowhere.
One of the Strangers steps up to Lori and Poke.
Stranger: "Hey, you. Did you press the red button?"
Poke (at the same time): "NO!"
Lori (at the same time): "YES!"
Stranger: "Is there any kind of emergency?"
Lori: "Uhm ... no ... we just ..."
Stranger (annoyed): "Then DON'T push this button again!"
Poke: "What exactly is it for?"
Stranger: "You activated the North Cothelstone Emergency
Call. It makes all phones on the island ring at the same time. It's
strictly reserved for catastrophic events that need everyone's
Lori: "Oh, I see ... we're so sorry ... we ... "
Stranger (very annoyed): "DON'T! Just don't. Okay?"
Stranger (shouts): "All right, everyone! False alarm! Let's go home!"
SFX-0607 - Dismayed mumbling, footsteps leaving
All the strangers leave the room.
Poke: "What the fuck was that?"
Lori (very angry): "Poke! I think I've never felt so embarassed in my entire life ... "
Poke: "I'm still thirsty!"
Lori (very angry): "GOOD NIGHT, POKE!"
Lori turns out the light.
SFX-0608 - click (OFF)
stage goes all dark
Poke snores for a few seconds.
Lights fade in in Section B
Mika lies in bed
SFX-0609 - footsteps nearing, door opens
Lionel enters from off stage in Section B
Lionel: "Hello? Mika, sweetheart? May I come in?"
Mika (grumpy, sad): "If you don't mind being with a convicted murderer ..."
Lionel: "I don't mind being with you at all. Besiders you're not a convicted ..."
Mika (continues): "... murderer yet? Is that what you wanted to say?"
Lionel: "Yes. I mean, no!"
Mika: "Then why does everybody treat me like a criminal?"
Lionel joins Mika in bed
Lionel: "I'm sorry. It's just that things don't seem to turn out in your favor, with all the evidence ..."
Mika: "You're doing it again! It's just evidence! It's no proof! Lionel, someone is trying to frame me!"
Lionel: "But ... but who? And why? And the evidence is strong. We found the weapon. It's a Furetta B22. Didn't you once ..."
Mika: "... carry such a weapon? Sure I did! Like every
other bodyguard in the company! It did have some annoying flaws, like
the last round in the magazine always getting stuck. But it was still a
very versatile weapon, just the right tool for the job. Yes, Lionel. I
carried such a gun. Five years ago. It belonged to the company, and I
was never allowed to take it home."
Lionel: "It's interesting that you mention the flaw,
because the murderer had the same problem. He had to throw the gun to
deliver the final blow. When we found it, it was covered in blood. The
bad news is, there was also fur on it ... your fur!"
Mika (shocked): "What? That's impossible! I ... I... Lionel ... please, believe me!"
Lionel: "When the police comes tomorrow, it won't matter to them if I believe you!"
Mika: "But it matters to me!"
Lionel: "*sigh* I know. Lori and Poke are already
searching the entire house for anything that might clear the suspicion.
They're very enthusiastic. I really hope that they will find something
to relieve you."
A moment of wordless silence
Mika: "I'm feeling cold."
Lionel: "Then come here. There's no point in talking
ourselves into a panic. I bet, tomorrow the world will look a lot
Mika reluctantly moves over to Lionel, leaning against him.
Mika: "Is there really no way I can ..."
Mika (softly): "Okay. Good night, then."
Lionel: "Good night, honey."
SFX-0610 - click (off)
Mika and Lionel snore softly
SFX-0611 - click (on)
light goes back on in section A
Lori: "Poke? Poke!"
Poke (groans): "Hrmm ... what the fuck?"
Lori: "Poke! I just remembered something! The letter you found in the kitchen! We almost forgot that!"
Poke (mumbling): "Mhrmm?"
Lori: "Poke, the letter, where is it?"
Poke (groans): "Hggnrn!"
Poke reaches under the sheets, and produces the envelope handing it to Lori, then instantly falls asleep again
Lori reads the envelope
Lori: "Hm. Air Mail. From: M. Seasucasa, Lionel
Scritchie's Dormitory, Kansas. To: The cook of Thrumpton Castle,
Thrumpton Square 1, North Cothelstone Island, United Kingdom. That's
weird ... why would Mika send a letter to the cook?"
Lori opens the envelope and takes out the letter
SFX-0612 - paper rustling
Lori: "To whom it may concern: If something strange
happens on Saturday afternoon, you will not be there. Talk is silver,
silence is golden. Enclosed you'll find the first installment of my
gratuity. Signed, M. Saesucasa."
Lori: "Oh my god! There's a one hundred pound note attached to it! It's ... hush money!"
Lori gets all excited and tries to wake up Poke by shaking him.
Lori: "Poke! Poke! Wake up! WAKE UP! POKE!"
Lori tries to interrupt Poke while he starts babbling
SFX-0613 - war sounds
Poke (panics): "Aaaaah! Sir, yes, Drill Seargent, Sir!
This is my rifle! There are many like it but this one is mine! It's my
best friend! It's my life. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is
trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. Aah! The
Fruitistani are attacking! Help!"
Lori (screaming): "Poke! POKE! It's just a dream! Poke! Wake up!"
Poke (gasps): "Aaah! Lori? Lori! It's you! Don't do that to me!"
Lori (agitated): "Sorry, but I just had to wake you. Look at this letter! It's signed by Mika! This is serious!"
Poke (angry): "And so, what do you think we should do?
Run over to Mika's room, burst in right in the middle of their 'I'm
sorry my dear I didn't mean it' re-unification-fuck?"
Lori: "But ... but ..."
Poke (angry, mocking): "Mika Saesucasa, you have the
right to remain silent! Sir, would you please dismount the suspect? No,
the handcuffs can stay on!"
Lori begins to cry
Poke: "Now, turn off the light. I'm fed up with all this. I need a fucking break ..."
Poke turns off the light
SFX-0614 - click (off)
Lori whimpers softly for a moment, then becomes silent
SFX-0615 - click (on)
lights on in Section A
Lori sniffs, then gets out of bed, ignoring the sleeping Poke. She walks off stage in Section A
SFX-0616 - click (off)
SFX-0616 (cont.) - + door opens footsteps from left to right
(backstage, invisibly, Lori moves from one end of the stage to the other)
Lori comes in from Section B
SFX-0616 (cont.) - door opens
SFX-0616 (cont.) - click
lights on in Section B
Mika, Lionel (blinded, scream): "AAAAAH!"
Lori: "Ooops, sorry!"
Mika: "What the heck are you doing here in the middle of the night, Lori?"
Lori (meekly): "I ... I couldn't sleep."
Mika and Lionel sigh
Mika: "Lori, what's the problem. You're the one of us who has the least reasons to be sleepless."
Lori winces and sniffs, almost beginning to cry
Lori: "Mika ... there is something I must show you. Oh .. I feel so terrible."
Mika: "Lori, what's the matter with you? You're shaking all over! And I've never seen you so pale!"
Lori: "Can ... can I ... join you in bed? I'm so afraid!"
Mika (gentle): "All right ... hop in!"
Lori climbs into bed next to Mika, and snuggles up
Lionel: "Now tell us, what is so important that you must show it to us in the middle of the night?"
Lori: "Okay. We found this in the kitchen ..."
Lori hands the letter over to Lionel
SFX-0617 - paper rustling
Lionel: "To whom it may concern ... hmmmmm ... hmmm .. hm hm hm hm ..."
Lionel and Mika read it, both gasp in shock
Lionel: "Oh shit. Mika? Could you please explain?"
Mika: "That's my signature! But ... but ... Lionel! I didn't write this! It must be a fake! Honestly!"
Lionel: "But it's your handwriting!"
Mika: "Yes! But ... okay. You want logic? Then eat this:
What kind of amateur criminal would sign with their own name, and put
their real home address on the envelope? Huh? Do you think I'm that
stupid? Do you? Huh?"
Lionel: "I ... I ... I don't know what to think any more."
Lori: "I hope you two don't hate me now ..."
Lori whimpers again
Lionel: "No, Lori, you did the right thing. We're not
angry at you. It's not your fault. It's good that you showed the letter
to us. Although, I must admit, it is quite a blow."
Mika (sad): "And I thought you trusted me."
Lori: "I do!"
Mika (sarcastic): "Oh well, at least one person is still on my side!"
Lori: "Uhm ... Mika, do you mind if I stay? I don't want to go back to bed with Poke ..."
Mika: "Oh, I can absolutely understand that!"
Lionel: "I'm fine with everything ... as long as we can
finally get some sleep. We'll cope much better tomorrow when we're fully
Mika: "Sometimes I hate you, and your damned logic."
Lionel: "Resistance is futile. Now, come on ... let's sleep."
Mika: "I'll try. I'll try. Good night, Lionel."
Lionel: "Goodnight, my beauty. Good night, Lori."
Lori, Mika: "Good night!"
SFX-0618 - click (off)
Mika and Lionel snore softly
SFX-0619 - door opens
SFX-0619 (cont.) - click (on)
lights on in Section B
Mika, Lionel, Lori (blinded, scream): "AAH!"
Poke: "Ooops, sorry!"
Mika: "What the heck are you doing here in the middle of the night, Poke?"
Poke (meekly): "I ... I can't sleep!"
Mika, Lionel and Lori groan
Poke: "Everytime I close my eyes ..."
Lori (annoyed): "Poke!"
Poke: "it's like it's war again ... and I ..."
Mika (annoyed): "Poke!"
Poke: "... and the evil Mr. Blender ..."
Lionel (annoyed): "POKE!"
Poke (meekly): "Uhm ... can I stay here with you?"
Lionel (angry): "YES! If that means that you'll shut up!"
Poke: "O ... okay!"
Mika: "Hop in!"
Poke gets in bed, next to Lori
SFX-0620 - click (off)
lights out in Section B
Lionel: "Good night everyone."
Poke: "Good night, Lionel."
Lori: "Good night, Lionel."
Mika: "Good night, Lionel."
everyone snores softly for a few seconds
SFX-0621 - distant footsteps, creaking floorboards
Mika (whispering): "Shh! Hey! Lionel! Did you hear that? Lori? Poke?"
distant footsteps, creaking floorboards
Mika produces a flashlight
SFX-0622 - click (on)
Mika's flashlight on
Mika (whispering): "There was that noise again! Someone is sneaking around the castle! Hey, wake up!"
everyone continues snoring
Mika (whispering): "Oh, it's always the same. If you want something done, you've got to do it yourself."
Mika gets up, and leaves the room.
MUS-05 - Key of the Twilight